Friday, July 31, 2009

Self Therapy Session

This week has been a sad week for me, especially dealing with the loss of what I thought was a friendship. I know that I am too naive, and that I am too sensitive, but knowing that doesn't make the hurt feelings go away. If this person was really my friend like I thought, they would have told me something along the lines of "hey, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings". But no, they didn't do that, instead this person seemed to get mad at me, for being upset at them for their comments. My husband tells me that I will only ever have 2 or 3 "real friends" in my lifetime, and I think that I might be starting to believe him. He tells me that I am too trusting, which is true. I give everything when a friendship, and a lot of times I get nothing in return but sadness and drama. He says to not trust co-workers like I do, because it always ends up badly. And I'm starting to see that is true, I've been burned twice now by people I thought were friends.

I am hoping that as time goes on, the tension will start to clear and things might be comfortable again. I don't think that these events will change who I am as a person, I am by nature a trusting and sensitive person. I might miss out on a fantastic friendship if I were different. I've been told to just chalk this up to life experience, and that I will get better at seeing people for who they are, instead of who I hope they are.

But, enough about that.

I've been on my newest preventive medication for my migraines for almost three months now, and I so wish that I was able to report that I am doing 120% better than before, but that would be lie. I do have a couple days where I don't have a migraine, but when I do get them, they are bad and they last for days. This month I have had to make trips to the emergency clinic three times. That is way too many. I go see my neurologist in the beginning of September, and we have a lot of things to discuss. He wants me to add Neurontin to my preventive meds, but I don't want to because you can't take it while you are pregnant. I'm not pregnant, but just in case, I don't want there to be any problems. Also, I need to discuss some kind of back up plan, for when they get so bad, something to try before I have to go get a shot. It seems like I'm always trying to figure something to try before it gets to that point.

This weeking I am just going to rest. I need to take a little time for myself to process all my thoughts and feelings, make plans for the future, maybe work on some of the many projects I have going on at home. I'm going to be. I can't wait.


  1. Hey there! Not sure if you've tried these, but I wanted to share my backup plan: an "emergency concoction" of Ketorolac (Toradol), Promethazine (Phenergan), and Seroquel.

    I combine these three pills if I have an unbearable migraine. My neuro said this is like going to the emergency room and getting a shot.

    Three downsides. One, it knocks me out. I took it one night and missed work the next day and didn't call in until around mid-morning when I was half asleep and then I slept the rest of the day! Two, you can only do this twice a month. And three, sometimes my migraine comes back, so I don't think it knocks it out completely.

    Not much help I know, but it's probably better than a visit to an emergency clinic.

    I don't blame you for not wanting to be on anything you can't take when you're pregnant, just in case. I feel the same way - especially since I had to stop hormonal birth control because of migraines. I'm seeing a doctor Tuesday to get off all my meds and am hoping to try all safe meds or natural alternates for my headaches. It's the right thing to do!

  2. Your week sounds a lot like mine, hon. So sorry. It is painful to have to teach our "friends" how to be friends.

    A word on meds: I am adamantly opposed to Neurontin and Phenergan. I've used both and had horrible psychological distress -- anxiety, nightmares, confusion, cloudy thinking. There are many other drugs that are better.

    For nauseau, I use Quick-dissolve Zofran. A drug developed for chemo patients to stop nausea and vomiting. Works like a charm and I've had NO SIDE EFFECTS! It is used with pregnant and nursing women who have migraine. No dizziness. No sleepiness. No freaking out like on Phenergan. One of my ER docs gets migraines and has the same problem with Phenergan. He won't prescribe because of it.

    Name a med and I've tried it. I understand that meds work differently on every BODY. Part of the process in moving toward a better life is seeing what works for you. It can be a rough road. Thus far, nothing has worked to eliminate my chronic daily migraines. My neuro team wants to give me an occipital nerve block next week. I'm investigating right now and will let you know what happens.

    Hang in there. Things will get better.


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