Tuesday, October 5, 2010

TTC Monday, on a Tuesday

This was supposed to be written yesterday, but I was so not in the mood. So you get it today.

Yesterday was CD1.

The dreaded sign that I am, again, not pregnant. And it seems like everyone on the planet is pregnant and I missed the boat. The boat that leads to Baby Bump Rd and Newborn Way. That damn ferry boat captain just wouldn't wait for me.

This month is mine. I'm getting my hopes up. Yesterday, my husband said "I need to know when you're ovulating, so I can shoot you!".. Tacky and awesome. That's why I love him.

Honestly, I always feel bad spending money on Ovulation Predictor Kits when I'm just going to pee on them and then toss them. My doctor recommended to me that I use the OvuQuick predictor, but after kind of ordering them online, and then searching for about an hour, I find out that they are like, 50 bucks. For a maximum of 9 test. FIFTY DOLLARS! Luckily, my doctor also recommended the First Response brand, so that's what I'll be trying this time around.

I've spent most of nights in the past few weeks crying myself to sleep, which we all know gets us nowhere. I've decided that no matter how much it hurts to find out that, again, this month was not my month, I can't just lay around and feel sorry for myself. I have to get back to being the positive and optimistic me. Sure, it results in a bigger heart break, but it might just result in an ecstatic joy towards the end of the month.

I don't usually ask for other's prayers, as I know that we all have more than enough stuff to pray about, and I know that God has a lot on His plate and it might be selfish for me to want what I want when I want it, when I know that its not going to happen until He's ready for me to get it.. But, I could use some prayers, some good vibes, some kind thoughts, whatever you believe in and want to share, I'll take them.


I know that I wouldn't be able to get through ANY of this if it weren't for Dallas. His understanding, and quiet support, and humor make it possible for me to bear the pain of heart break month after month. And my mom and sisters and best friends keep my spirits up, even if its just letting me cry and complain to them. They are the rocks that keep me from floating away in this ocean of emotion (ha, that so rhymed!), they keep me where I need to be. And I love them.

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5 comments:

  1. I'll certainly be glad to pray, sweetie!

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  2. I'm praying for you..believe me I know where you are right now...this has been me too. *hugs*

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  3. Sharon,

    I'm praying for you and Dallas. I hope in God's time, you will get pregnant if that's His will. It's not selfish to pray for what we desire; that's why I constantly pray for my migraines to go away! :)

    I hope you're ok with me giving you some advice. First of all, I'm not trying to get pregnant (yet) and haven't been through what you're going through, and second, you probably know way more about fertility problems than I do. However, I wanted to recommend a book I'm reading if you haven't already read it: Taking Charge of Your Fertility, http://www.tcoyf.com/. It teaches you to tell where you are in your cycle without having to buy expensive ovulation kits. Instead, you just need a basal thermometer to chart your temperatures each morning, and you can print charts online. It also teaches you how to check your cervical fluid to find out when you're most fertile. You can probably find this book at the library; a friend let me borrow hers. I'm not saying it is the answer, but it's an alternate way to know when you're ovulating and it also has a section on fertility issues.

    Hang in there!

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  4. You all make me feel so blessed. All your love and support makes my heart feel happy : )

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