Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Letter to Baby C

Dear Angel Baby,

You were our first miracle. You showed up at just the right time, my hope was on its last leg. We tried for 2 1/2 years to bring you to life.

You were conceived around mid to late February with the help of Femara. On a whim, I came home and took a pregnancy test on March 10th. I was almost a week late but didn't think there was a wonderful reason behind it. Then I saw the second pink line, your first picture. I took five more tests at home over the next few days, all of them telling me the same thing: you, our miracle, were here. I visited my family doctor and he confirmed it. You were real. I was overjoyed.

I called your Daddy, and he was thrilled. Your aunts and uncles and grandparents were all so excited and happy. Your Grandmommy bought you your first toy, a wooden ring stacker made by FAO Schwarz. She knew you'd have my sense of style and appreciation for old fashioned things.

Your Daddy and I started making plans. We were going to move to a bigger place where you'd have enough room to grow and play, I started researching schools, picking out suitable names. We told all our friends that you were finally here. Everyone was so happy and excited to get to know you. I was floating on air.

We went to the doctor on March 29th hoping to get a little picture of you. Unfortunately, we didn't get to see you hanging out in there. We saw your home, the little gestational sac, but the doctor said it was probably just a little too early to see you.

I wish that was true, my miracle. Sadly, after some blood work, we learned that it just wasn't your time to be with us. You belonged back in heaven with God. It seems very fitting since I know without a doubt that is where you came from. My Angel, I want you to know that the 22 days that I got to spend with you were pure joy. I'm heartbroken that I only got 22 days, but I know how blessed I was to get any days at all. I want you to know that you have changed me for the better. I am mad that our time was cut short, but I don't blame anyone. You are the best gift I have ever received, you gave me so much. You brought back my hope, you taught me what real joy is, and you made me a mom.

Thank you, and I love you always.

Mommy

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10 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful letter that brought me to tears.

    I am so sorry for your loss.

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  2. Oh Sharon, my heart breaks for you. That is a beautiful letter. It must have taken bravery and a lot of tears to write it.

    May God hold you in his tender hands and carry you and your husband through this time.

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  3. Very beautiful, Sharon. It is so so hard. The best thing I have taken away from losing Mya is that it's nice to know you have an angel waiting on you, and that your future babies will have a big sister/brother waiting on them and watching out for them.

    It never gets easier. I'm thinking about you.

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  4. You are so inspiring. God bless you and your family!

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  5. I am so sorry, Sharon. My heart breaks for you and your husband.

    It comforts me to think that all of our angel babies are together somewhere in heaven, hanging out and watching over their families.

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  6. Beautiful and touching... Sometimes it is all too easy to dwell on the anger and hurt and not see the fleeting blessings that our babies were when they were still with us.

    ((hugs)) to you, love..

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  7. Sharon,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I understand what you're going through after a miscarriage in December....it breaks your heart in ways you never knew it could.
    I will be thinking of you.

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  8. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you. I have experienced 2 losses myself and in my work, deal with it everyday.

    <3 Jessica

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  9. What a beautiful letter.

    Sharon, I am so sorry for your loss. <3 *hugs*

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  10. So sorry -- it's devastating to go through. Your perspective is wonderful.

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