Mother's Day

Its been a rough week for me, I'm sure its because its been leading up to Mother's Day. When I found out I was pregnant, I was so excited to be able to celebrate this specific holiday. Like I'd been waiting in line to get awesome concert tickets but never made it to the ticket window, and then finally, I was there. And I got front row tickets.

And then those tickets were stolen.

My blood work on Thursday showed that my hcg numbers were down to zero. There are no more pregnancy hormones. My first pregnancy lasted less than two months from beginning to very end. Sad.

A friend of mine sent me a poem that describes so perfectly how I've been feeling. When I read it yesterday, I couldn't stop the tears, which turned into sobs. Here is the poem..

People don't understand...

why I miss you so much...

they've never had a baby...

they could not touch.

I never got to hear you cry...

dry the tears from your face...

or watch mommy dress you up...

in clothes made from lace.

To hold you once...

on my chest while you sleep...

I long for that moment...

it's hard not to weep.

To hear your giggle...

count your fingers and toes...

do up your hair...

with ribbons and bows.

Oh the longing at times...

is selfish I know...

people wonder about me...

when there is nothing to show.

But we know you're there...

awaiting the day...

when God brings us home...

forever we'll stay.

We miss you...you see...

the reason for this...

just thought you should know...

we send up a kiss.

Until then God promised to keep you...

safe and warm in his lap...

then it's forever...

on my chest you will nap...