The Great Skill of My Life

I mean, honestly, I have so many skills. 

• I’m creative.
• I can spell.
• I know song lyrics for every occasion.
• I can cry on cue.
• Sometimes I’m clever.
• I can blend eye shadow.
• I can read an epic Harry Potter Fan-fiction story in like, no time.

 

Honestly. The list goes on.. 

But my greatest skill?

Dropping things down my shirt. Remember the cinnamon roll?

Today, while eating popcorn, I dropped no less than 4 pops of popcorn down my shirt. Into my bra. Less can comfy, my friends.

I know what you’re probably saying.. Sharon, stop wearing low cut shirts.

DUDE! I’M NOT EVEN WEARING A LOW CUT SHIRT!

Like, the skill for me to drop it down my shirt is real. Which leads me to wonder.. since I’m out of a job in five weeks.. can I work this skill into a career or some sort?

Hmm.. never mind, that’s not the kinda career I’m looking for. I’m a nice girl, you know!

Cinnamon Rolls

Picture it, Today, Oklahoma City.

I'm enjoying a delicious cinnamon roll that a local account manager was nice enough to bring in for us. It had lots of cinnamon, and lots of sugary glaze on the top.

I don't know how you eat a cinnamon roll, but the correct way is to peel the round layers from the outside in (obvs). See drawing:

So here I am, enjoying this deliciousness. And then it happens.

A big chunk of the crunchy sugar glaze on top falls off the cinnamon roll. And where does it fall you may be asking?

Down my shirt.

No bigs, right?

Except, I'm wearing a low-ish cut shirt and the glaze went straight into my bra.

I'm going to let that sink in for a second.

See second drawing:

“Okay.. so that sucks. I'll just get it out real quick.”

WRONG! IT EFFING MELTED.

Melted. In my bra. So I'm sitting there with a sticky ta-ta.

What. The. What.

So I start thinking about my life choices and what has led me to this point in my life where I'm sitting at work with a sticky ta-ta

STICKY. TA-TA.