Monday, November 23, 2009

What's the Etiquette

So the shocking news in my world today is that my father in law and his wife, yes the ones from my last post, are getting divorced. Color me shocking pink! I mean, a week ago, they were fine. Though I do know that not everything is how it seems, and people keep their problems like the bathrooms at a bank. Closed to the public. I'm sad about the falling out, but its their relationship, and everyone has to do what is right for them. If they aren't happy, then they shouldn't be together.

She called me this morning while I was at work and left me a voicemail. She was upset and crying, and told her side of the story. And he called me this evening, and we talked for about 45 minutes, I mostly just listened. I figure that if I was in the same situation, I'd just want someone to listen to my thoughts and feelings, and help me feel not alone in them. I guess that he called me because he wanted a female perspective maybe. And because Dallas doesn't say a lot on the phone, to anyone. He's not a phone guy.

Is it selfish of me to wonder how I need to handle this? I love them both. I love Julie, but since he is my father in law, do my loyalties lie solely with him? Do I need to just cut ties with her? Is it possible to keep a friendship with her and him? My life doesn't need anymore broken awkward family ties it, I can assure you. But I so rarely make a connection with someone, that I hate to just give it up. But I don't want Steve to think that I am picking sides, because I'm not. I guess that since it's all still so new, all I can do is wait to see what becomes of it all. For all I know, she will want to cut ties with me, because I am the daughter in law.

And I feel bad for them, I've never gone through a divorce myself. But I have gone through them as a younger person, and it was hard. The tension was awful. I hope that they can work through this quickly, without any of the petty stuff that can happen during rough times. I hope they can both find peace, and peace of mind. And find their happiness, because that is what we're all looking for. I would be devastating to think that I had found my happiness and then come to realize that I hadn't.

 

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