Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Soft Glow of Electric Sex

Before ya'll get your panties into a frenzy, this post is not about sex. I'm watching A Christmas Story as I am blogging this evening, for the first time this year. It just doesn't matter how many times you see it, it's so good. I can't wait til we get to the soap poisoning part!

Its been a while since I've blogged, but in my defense, I've had a big holiday, major migraines, lots of decorating to do, and too much stress. So maybe this is a kind of recap post.

Thanksgiving was nice. I was sad that my Gramma wasn't there, but in all honesty, it was a LOT less stressful without her, and the part of the family that we're all kind of embarrassed to be related to. We drove up to the Tulsa area to my favorite Aunt and Uncle's house. Much thanks to my sister for letting us use her Pike-pass and for having the GPS so we could follow them! The drive to Tulsa isn't a super long one, little over an hour and a half. But to go up there and back in one day is a little long. I made my fabulous pumpkin bread (you're welcome family!), and some green bean casserole. Now, about my Aunt and Uncle. They are the most normal people in our family. Seriously. They got married young, had my cousin, got divorced, and a few years later they got back together and remarried (they had two more kids, btw). Things like that don't happen too often. My Aunt has always been super cool, but my Uncle, not so much. He was one of those people who didn't like anyone, especially anyone of the "kid" age. He would just sit there and not talk to anyone. Then they had their third child, a strapping young lad, the baby boy, the spitting image of my Uncle. I guess that after having two girls, and then getting a boy, it just opened him up. It was almost instant the way his attitude towards everyone changed. Before I could walk in and say Hey Uncle, and I might get a grunt or a shrug. Now he says hi to me first, and initiates conversations. And it just gets better as I get older. I like them as people, and missed them tremendously when they moved to Colorado. I was full of anxiety about hanging out with my cousins. I love them dearly, but they are perfect. P-E-R-F-E-C-T. Perfect grades, perfect job, perfect hair, perfect. They are so gorgeous. And they are spoiled. They don't act spoiled a lot, which is good, because that tends to make people really unbearable. But everyone in our family seems to treat them as the Golden kids, can't do any wrong. And I'm not saying that they don't work hard for their good grades and whatnot. For everything else though, they've not had to work for it. Possibly its just that I grew up poor. Everything that I have, aside from half of my iPod, I worked for and bought on my own. (And even for that half of the iPod, I worked for it, I took care of my mom after she had surgery, lol). I don't want this to sound like I am a jealous person, because I'm not jealous of what they have. I envy the way our family treats them. They are perfect and we (my sisters and I) are the runners-up. We don't get much credit for what we do and have accomplished. Luckily my sister and I are much closer friends, and can talk about this, and always go out of our way to make sure we tell each other that we are proud of each other on whatever we accomplish. A little praise and credit and acknowledgement goes a long way. So thank you sister!

I have had a rough few weeks with my migraines. Including a horrible weekend where I was in emergency two nights in a row. Talk about the lectures, the second night I got the third degree about whether or not I followed up with my regular doctor and why don't I have anything at home to take, and maybe I need to find a new doctor. DUH. I told them that my neuro told me to go back. He will not give me anything to take at home. Anything. And it makes me feel like a bad person when I call to ask for something, like maybe he thinks all I want is drugs, and thats so not the case. The nurse told me I might consider asking for a referral to a pain management doctor for my migraines since they are so bad. I need to get in to see my primary care doctor and talk to him about getting me in somewhere where they look at the whole picture, and test and see if my migraines are related to my ovary problems. I'm pretty sure that I'd still have migraines, but maybe not to the extent that I do. I have a couple days off in mid January, so I need to try to get something scheduled soon, anyone who's been to any kind of specialist knows it tends to take a while before you can get in to see them!

 Because of my migraines, I'm at the point in the year where I don't have any more paid time off. This puts a lot of stress on me. Besides feeling guilty that I have a migraine and have to cancel plans, can't take care of my husband the way that I want, and can't take care of the house, it adds the BIG guilty feeling of know that because I can't handle the pain, we are going to be short on money, which starts a chain reaction of worrying about if we'll have enough money to get all our bills taken care of, enough money to put gas in the cars, etc. And all that guilt and worry and stress just makes the migraines worse. Bad news bears. I missed a day and a half of work about a month ago, which made my check so short, and Dallas' check was shorter than usual that week too, so since then we've been struggling. We never have a lot of money, but usually we have enough to get everything paid, gas, groceries, whatnots, go out to dinner if we want. But the past month or so its been not good. We got an overdraft charge (two actually), which totally made me want to throw up. I think that we have everything worked back out so we should be good now, but I won't stop worrying until I know for sure that everything is as it should be. I'm trying to work on tweeking our budget, because we have to get better at saving money. The only way I've been able to save money is to take it out of the bank when I get paid, put it in an envelope, and hide it. Out of sight, out of mind. Because if we had been saving on a more regular basis, me missing a day and a half at work wouldn't have screwed us so badly. Sigh. It's hard being responsible.

What kind of budgeting system works for you? I'd love some ideas/suggestions.

Thats all I have for this evening's post.. I apologize for the rambling, my mind is going a zillion miles a minute. And for all my loyal readers (haha!) I will try to get back into the swing of blogging more regularly, though in all honesty it might not happen til after Christmas. Love you all!

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