Monday, December 21, 2009

Rather Uninspired

I'm kind of in a funk as of late. There's not really anything wrong, just have a case of the blahs. I'm sure that it's a combination of hormones, lack of sleep, stress, and the burn-out at work. I should have this week off work, scheduled off LAST December, but of course, my head cancelled that out for me. If I could afford to not get paid for 4 days I would have still taken the week off, but honestly, who can afford that? I guess the good thing is that I will get two 3-day weekends in a row. And I have a few days off in January, just for me.

Hormones are killing me. The other day I was driving in my car, and Hark The Herald Angels Sing came on the radio and I cried. CRIED. As in tears. What the heck! I'd like to be able to say thats the only instance of my bursting into instant tears, but that would be a lie. I'm pretty sure the reason is just hormones. My last cycle was Nov 4. That was 48 days ago. F-O-R-T-Y-E-I-G-H-T. I've taken a pregnancy test, and got a big ole Negative sign (it's a mean little minus sign too!). What the hell is going on with me, jeez. Now I know that not all home pregnancy tests are accurate, and I should test again. And if my body doesn't cooperate soon, I will. But as anyone who is or has tried to get pregnant, those home pregnancy tests are evil. I can't describe the feeling of defeat when you get that negative sign. Not to mention the panic that I have when it comes back negative, and I still haven't started my period, I immediately think that there must be something wrong inside. Maybe my ovary died and my uterus is boycotting this whole baby thing. Maybe they moved to a warmer climate. Too many maybes go through my head.

My little sister graduated from nursing school on Friday, it was very exciting. She and her husband left on Saturday for Cancun. Color me jealous. I'd love to be at a beach, feeling the sand, listening to the waves, smelling the ocean. Someday.. I hope! A tropical getaway with Dallas and pretty drinks with umbrellas in them. Soaking up the sun, not a worry around to bug me.. Yah Right! I know myself way too good for that. I'd find a way to worry. I'd worry that a rogue hurricane was making its way towards my island paradise, or I'd worry that something would happen to my family while I was out of contact with the world, I'd worry that a great white shark was hanging out in the water just waiting for me to go in deep enough for him to make a snack out of me. Oh well, guess I don't have to worry about that yet.. LOL.

I am ready for Christmas though, I love getting together with family, and I am looking forward to my sister's and my first Christmas Dinner where just us are making it (cuz my mother and other sister are abandoning us.. lol). It will be nice. And I'm trying my hand at a pecan pie again this year. A few years ago I made one for Dallas' dad, and it didn't turn out as well as I had hoped, so fingers crossed for this one!

What are your holiday plans??

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