Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Because I'm a Freaker Outer

Back when I was in highschool, and I was so sick all the time, I had sinus surgery because I had a cyst filling up my entire sphenoid sinus cavity. I think the doctor (Dr. Jerk-off) actually said it was impressive. Who says that? I guess weird doctors who get excited about weird things. They had to go up my nose and drain the cyst out and do whatever it is that they did. Then they packed my nose full of the teflon coated gauze stuff, and it hurt. And I bled from my eye balls. Seriously.

Dr. Jerk-off told me that I would never be able to have kids if I couldn't handle the pain of him shoving stuff up my nose and ripping it out. My mom says that after that, I didn't have any really bad migraines for a couple of years. So at the doctor last time, I had mentioned this, and how I always have sinus issues, and he decided to do a CT Scan of my sinuses to make sure they are all good.

And this has me freaked out.

On one hand, I don't want them to find anything! I don't know if I'd be strong enough to go through that awful situation again. I only remember a fraction of the pain, and that was just horrible! The thought of having to have surgery just makes me sick. And if there is something there, does that mean I'll always have to worry about it coming back after a few years?

On the other hand, if there is something there and getting rid of it would help my head at all, thats a good thing. I can't imagine not having to worry about everything I do triggering a massive migraine. But I bet its great!

So its like, I don't want anything to be wrong, but I kind of do, because it might fix my head. The CT scan isn't even until next Thursday, so I have a while left to continue my freak out.

1 comment:

  1. I had sinus surgery for a seriously deviated septum. It really did help but yeah, yanking the stuffing out was hideous.

    Hang in there, sweetie. *hugs*

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