Friday, September 17, 2010

The Post Where I Quote Popeye

I know. I usually do Just A Little Crush on Fridays, to keep things light and fluffy on this wonderful last day of the work week. Change of plans.

Over the last several months, I've been struggling with hurt feelings. I'm not going to get into details, because they don't matter. I've been carrying around these hurt feelings, letting them dictate my life. I've always been a worrier. The incident that caused these hurt feelings put me into a super state of worry and anxiety. Every day. It was exhausting.

And then, last Friday, in my feverish state, surrounded by a ton of use tissues, I had an epiphany. Carrying around this hurt was doing nothing but hurting me. Why would I choose to let someone have this much power over me when they don't even matter. They are not an important person in my life. Changing who I am because of what they said isn't going to work for me anymore. I'm not going to make myself miserable to avoid the chance of making someone else upset. To quote Popeye, "I yam what I yam."

My head will never have a chance to get better if I walk around so stressed out that I want scream. I will never have a chance to get pregnant if my body is constantly wound this tight. I have to let go of this for me. And for Dallas, its not fair to him to have to listen to me cry and be upset of things that shouldn't matter.

And I know, everyone has told me that I need to not worry about what other people do, I shouldn't let things get to me so bad, and I should just ignore it and go on with my life in the knowledge that I am a great person, and there are plenty of people who love me. When I told Dallas my thoughts, he said "It's about time." And that's true. But I say that it doesn't matter how long it took me to get there, as long as I got there.

And maybe because I love you all so much, I'll get a new crush up here. : )

1 comment:

  1. Well I'm crying. I really look up to you a lot. You stand up for what you believe in and you are willing to take chances. I don't know too many people like you, if any. I just wanted to say thank you for being you. Love ya, Diana.


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