Thursday, February 17, 2011

I Know A Keeper When I Meet One

I don't have the longest or most sordid dating past. I was shy and the chubby girl, not a great combo together. That didn't stop me from telling the few people I liked that I had a crush on them. And as any shy girl knows, that's not an easy task. Not that all my efforts lead to anything but a few tears. It was really after high school that I started to date. While I may not have dated THAT many people, the few that I did go out with were, well, special. Not in a good way. I seemed to have the knack of picking the complete wrong kind of guy, or the exact right kind of guy but it wasn't mutual.

Dude 1. Called me by the wrong name most of the date.

Dude 2. He was a nice guy, a friend of the guy I was pretty sure I was gonna marry (pretty impressive for being 18 LOL). He brought me flowers, and we went to dinner and a movie. I shouldn't have gone out with him since I was so hung up on the other guy.. but he knew I was (I was totally called out at Denny's the night before). I didn't kiss him and he didn't call back.

Dude 3. By far my worst choice. I had to meet him at restaurant called Pickles so I could follow him to his house. Then I had to meet his parents. After dinner, we went back to his house and watched something on TV. I did kiss him. And right after that he said "I've been told I'm a good kisser." No, for real. He said that. He walked me out to my car and I was saying good night and then he got in my car. Surprised me. After a little more kissing, he said the strangest thing anyone has every been said to me. Ever. He goes (and I'm embarrassed writing this!), "How about a foot job?" Um, what? "You just put your bare feet together like this, and then I'll.." OH! A FOOT JOB! WTF! I politely declined saying I had to get home, it was work night after all. And then the next day he called and told me he met someone else and they were now a couple.

Dude 4. Typical date, dinner and then just driving around. I kissed him (that really makes me feel like slooty!), and seriously, after just a few minutes, he penis was out of his pants. He was so quick I didn't even see it happen, all of a sudden it was BAM! PENIS! How do you politely react to that? I'm sure I stammered and was like, oh look its time for me to go!

Luckily, my first date with Dallas was MUCH better. We met at the movie theater, we watched Hollywoodland, which if you've seen it, you know its pretty long. About five minutes before the movie ended, he asked if he could hold my hand. So sweet right? Then I went to his house, he lived with his dad at the time. On our way, he goes "I'm not going to introduce you to my dad yet, I don't want to make things weird" and wouldn't ya know, when we pulled up to his house, his dad was standing outside, so I had to meet his dad. Then we watched Ice Age. It was late when I got home, he called me about half an hour after I left to make sure I made it home alright. He's a keeper.



  1. Hahaha..a foot job, huh? I once dated a guy with a foot fetish...but he never asked for that! I hate feet....boggles my mind that some guys just love them!

  2. That is totally sweet! I like to say that I had to kiss a few frogs before I could recognize my prince...


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