Today

Sometimes it takes me by surprise how suddenly the grief and sadness pops back into the forefront of my mind. Its always in the background, the little twinge that threatens to send me into tears. I've managed to keep them hanging back there most days.

Today is apparently not one of those days.

Today the tears are very much at the edge of my tear ducts ready to fall. I wish I could say what triggered them, but I'm not really sure. I woke up this way.

Today, I should be 22 weeks pregnant. Maybe I should forget that, but I can't. I'm sad about all the stuff I am missing out on. I'm sad about all the stuff I didn't get to see, hear, feel. I'm sad that this is such a common occurrence for people.

Today, I just hurt.