Who I Am..

Sometimes when I think about where I am in my life now, I find myself completely amazed. I never thought that I would be here, living my life how I am. Back in high school I was shy and awkward, had a few good friends, but not too many. I didn't know how to be myself, I was in love with a guy who did not love me back, I was a mess. Right after high school I got my first job, in a little place I like to call "hell", with demonesque people (most of them anyway, not you Jennifer!). And I was depressed. I don't think that I knew it at the time, or more likely I didn't acknowledge it at the time. I was so unhappy, with everything. Then I went to broadcasting school, and that sucked the shyness out of me. But I was still in love with the same guy who didn't love me back, he just kept me on a string, pulling me in when I was getting smart enough to walk away. I let him do more damage to my self esteem then I even knew was possible.

But as you get older, you learn. I finally gave up on the guy, which was harder that I could ever explain. And with a shattered heart, somehow I met the right guy (among a slew of not right guys, of course). When I first met Dallas, I didn't want to give him a chance, I didn't want to let myself get attached. But he was persistent, and my friends told me that I should after they met him (on our date at the fair). I knew that I was in love when he asked me to go out one night and I was planning on spending the evening with my baby sister, who was also nursing a broken heart, and he said "Well she can come too" and he took us both bowling and to Denny's afterward. I knew then. Its not very often you find a guy that will take your little sister out just so he can hang out with you. From that moment on we were pretty much a "we", and I was better at it than I thought I would be! I'd always just been the girl who was invited over when the other girls couldn't, the friend who would help through any heartbreak, only to end up with my broken, the girl who people walked all over.

I'm not that girl anymore. I like who I am. I'm a sarcastic, sweet, funny, responsible adult. A good sister, an amazing daughter, a great friend, and an awesome wife. Sometime soon I'd like to add on "magnificent mother", but that will happen when its supposed to. I have faith in God that he will make my dreams come true when He knows that we are ready.