Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Life

Sometimes I wonder how to go to where I am in my life. I'm not disappointed in my life, its just not the path I had always planned on. I don't think that I am doing anything that I always wanted to do. Well, except for writing this blog I guess, I always wanted to write something that other people read. I always hoped it would be a novel of some sort, but hey there's still time for that.

Growing up, I wanted to be a teacher. I mean I REALLY wanted to be a teacher. I was teacher's pet in 5th grade, I helped her clean the class room, I made copies for her, I'm pretty sure I asked for extra homework! At the end of the year, she was getting rid of a whole bunch of her stuff, like, old teachers books, and those border things that go around the bulletin boards. What kind of nerd was I you ask? I asked her for them, and I took them home, and played school with my sisters and friends. Yah. Nerd. I know. I wanted to be a teacher for a long time. There was a brief time where I changed my mind and wanted to be an interior decorator.

In high school, I decided that I wanted to be a hair stylist. I have always loved doing hair. My sister's hair always looked cute, because I would basically force myself on their hair! I still do my mother's and my baby sister's hair often. When I told my mom that I wanted to be a stylist, she told me that was a job for stupid people. I don't think she meant it like it sounded. I think she meant because I am so smart, I could do anything, why just do hair. I think. I hope. Either way, it discouraged me from doing that.

I'm pretty sure I could have gotten any scholarship that I applied for in high school, I was smart, I had extracurricular activities (seriously, I was Miss Congeniality for the whole state of Oklahoma. Kind of LOL.) But when I got sick my senior year, that screwed everything up. I had teachers fail me. I got incompletes. They disenrolled me from school. Even though we went to my principal and told him I would be gone for however long, and I would do my homework and send it with my sister. My counselor was absolutely zero help. When I graduated, like physically walked across the stage, she said to me "I didn't think you'd make it".

After high school, I decided I wanted to be on the radio. So I went to broadcasting school. I shelled out a lot of money. I'm still paying student loans for it. And do I work in the radio industry? Nope. When I graduated, with stellar grades and an amazing air check, the only jobs available were stations that wanted me to work part time, or worse, intern. For free. That wasn't an option. I wasn't born into a rich family, my single mother had 3 kids to take care of, and from the day I graduated, I worked for everything I have.

So all of this is a long drawn out explanation of where my life COULD be, and where it is. I could be a teacher. I'd be an amazing teacher. I could be a hair stylist. And damn, I could be a great hair stylist. I could be on the radio right now. I totally have the personality for radio.

But I'm not.

And I know, I could go back to school, I could be anything I want to be. I'm only 27.

I want to do it all.  Is that too much?

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2 comments:

  1. Of course it's not too much!

    Look at what you spend most of your time doing. Are you glad about it?

    Ponder over what you wish you were spending all your time doing. Would it support you?

    Imagine what you'd like to do full-time that would support you. Make getting that full-time job a full-time job.

    Ha! If only it were that easy...except none of that is as easy as it seems.

    When you're looking at the possibility of more schooling and thinking, "man, that's 4 more years (or 2 or however many) before I'm through." Then think of how old you'll be in 4 or 2 or however many years. You will be the same age whether you get the schooling or not, and if you don't, you'll be older but no closer.

    Good luck, honey!

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  2. I can so relate to this post - thanks for writing it!

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